Sex versus Gender?

Official Genders

Anyone who claims that only two genders exist…

Science disagrees with you!

Fine let’s check Traditional Textbooks!

Religion Disagrees with You!

Hebrew the Language of the Bible’s Old Testament had SIX Genders:

Masculine Male
- Zachar (זָכָר)
Feminine Female
- Nekevah (נְקֵבָה)
Non-Binary Both or Gender Fluid
- Androgynos (אנדרוגינוס)
Non-Binary Neither or Genderless
- Tumtum (טומטום)
Masculine Female
- Ay’lonit (איילונית)
Feminine Male
- Saris (סָרִיס)

Source: Jewish Terms for Gender Diversity

There is even evidence that Isaac, Abraham’s son was born with the “Soul of a Female” and was Transgender as well (Saris).

Source: Sefaria – Coming out as a Spiritual Obligation

And here!

Animacy as Gender

Various languages use Animacy as Gender.

The 7th is Inanimate (Attack Helicopter)

The 8th is Animate (Collective Intelligence)

Quit being assholes to others…

Or you will become…

The 9th: Non-Existent or Null

This is your Final Warning!

Alternatively Gender doesn’t Exist

End the Discrimination!

My History with Gender

While Transgender rights did not appear to become well known in America until around 2010, I was dealing with the confusion and frustration trying to identify the difference between Sex and Gender in 2007.

Not for typical reasons however, but because I was a software developer. I had a passion for linguistics and was trying to find the most appropriate Enumeration Type Name to use in code.

My obsession with naming things as accurately as possible has been a huge help in writing maintainable code in my career. But occasionally you run into situations like this where the correct one to use isn’t obvious… 🤔.

So I did what I always did and researched the etymology, colloquial usage, academic usage, connotations and denotations of the words.

It was my preference to use Gender because the other word makes me uncomfortable to use. I grew up very sheltered and didn’t have a clue how it even worked until I was 16. The “talk” wasn’t helpful either.

“If Her pants are Down, yours are Up; if yours are Down, Hers are up.“

Very informative… thanks Mom… 🙄. For the record… I’ve learned that’s not how it works 😐.

Social situations were already horribly confusing for me due to Autism that I only recently learned that I have. So I just preferred to avoid that subject all together to avoid embarrassing myself.

During my research I discovered that Sex refers strictly to Physical Biology and Gender referred to Metaphysical Psychology coupled with Societal Rules and Expected Etiquette.

Due to the code I was writing only caring about rules and etiquette related logic I usually went with:

public enum Gender { Female = 1, Male = 2 }

Females being the most obvious choice for 1 as all life begins as or evolved from Females according to my research. Which I did before deciding to assign Female = 1!

I found out later in my career when writing a data mapper that most software developers assigned Male = 1 instead which complicated my code every time this type had to be mapped.

Why did they assign Male = 1? No clue, it seemed irrational and made no sense, so I stubbornly refused to conform my enum values to their arbitrary bullshit values.

My justification?

This understanding between the difference was filed away in my brain under useless Trivia until recently! Over the past several years the debate about their rights has lead to many debates about the difference between the words.

Awesome! I already knew the answer and could help them understand! Just trying to help! 😁

Only for people to argue with me… every… single… time!? What the hell? This totally confused me as this isn’t really a debate. They are clearly defined and I understood them.

Well sometime in the last decade people apparently decided that everything is Opinion and Right or Wrong answers don’t exist anymore.

Which is simply ridiculous. If I write code and the computer does something I don’t like, I can’t just yell at it that my opinion is just as good as its! I have to start using the correct language in the appropriate way or it will never do what I want!

So I refused to accept their idiotic notion… 🙄!

Discrimination against Transgenders

As a male who had long hair and was mistakenly called ma’am many times due to it… I always found Gender norms ridiculous.

Watching people whine and complain about Men looking like Women was confusing to me. Did these people not study history or other cultures? What a Man or Woman looks like changes frequently! There is no right or wrong way!

I dare you to insult his masculinity for wearing a “dress” and having long hair 😈

The last time I overheard someone saying crap like this, I casually commented that the Founding Fathers wore Wigs and Judges wore long flowing gowns!

He didn’t know how to respond to that but he started asking questions about why boys wanted to be girls. He asked the right person! Because I knew exactly why! So I told him my story.

Wanting to be a Girl

I was raised by my Mom, Sister and Grana. I respected and admired them greatly. My Dad cheated on my Mom which lead to an immediate divorce. My Step-Father hated me for no reason and I ended up having to call 911 on him for choking Her… which she immediately divorced him for.

All I heard about and saw in Men was the bad. They would abandon you to get laid, they would be violent, they would hate you or be mean to you for no reason… all except my Grandfathers.

Only ever saw Toxic Masculinity until I met Nana and then Legatus 😓

All the women on the other hand were smart, kind, tolerant, independent, hard working and very “strong” in character. Everything I wasn’t!

As a teenager, dating confused me tremendously for numerous reasons. But again girls appeared to have it easy as the boys had to impress them and initiate by asking them out. I wished girls would initiate like the boys did if they liked me… 😔.

This lead to an overwhelming desire that I’d been born a girl. I understood them. I admired everything about them. While boys were assholes to each other for no reason, competed instead of working together and most of them appeared very stupid to me compared to girls.

I also envied the freedom girls had to wear more styles of clothes and prettier clothes. They got to accessorize more freely as well! In elementary school I wore jewelry until I got self-conscious that I was the only boy doing it.

Why did Girls get to have all the fun!?

Oh…

As an adult I started learning about all the downsides of being a woman. Pregnancy, Periods, Creepy/Abusive men, being treated as inferior in all the ways I knew they weren’t, being disrespected for no reason or misunderstood by Men repeatedly!

My best friends were consistently female because I didn’t trust or get along with men, and I discovered a great dynamic would form as my mere presence acted as a “forcefield” that kept the creeps and abusive guys away!

Not only was I able to talk about all the emotional and philosophical stuff with women, they started letting me help them put together outfits! While I might never get to create and wear pretty outfits, I could live vicariously through them!

I absolutely loved helping pick out outfits 😅

Here’s one I helped Miko pick out! 😁

While I did develop feelings most of the times, the friendships weren’t worth risking to me because they were so fulfilling in so many ways.

Biological urges still had to be dealt with though so I relied on porn to eliminate all urges and desires. Doing this prevented hormones from making me behave in inappropriate ways and got rid of the painful as hell blue balls 😐.

This made it easy to keep things platonic!

My Gender…?

I write about my views on Guns in my post A Mathematical Analysis of Gun Ownership.

Due to my entire life being spent interacting primarily with women I’ve developed many behavioral traits and desires typically associated with them! Some of these were totally subconscious!

It wasn’t until I was 30 that I realized I did a small curtsy when shaking someone’s hand. Which was very amusing when I first noticed it.

My body language was similar to the girl on the right when shaking hands, bending my knees slightly as I lowered my head as well… 😅

I tended to gravitate to more submissive roles in most social dynamics as well with the desire to follow and work together rather than lead and compete.

While I was only attracted to women; the women that I was most attracted to were very dominant, assertive, high energy, aggressive and all around masculine in their behaviors.

They still looked very feminine and I looked as masculine as I could… being unable to grow facial hair 😭… but behavioral stereotypes were flipped!

Women who knew how to fight and could intimidate even men; acted assertive and dominant with others… were just dreamy to me.

😍😍😍

Their eyes would go soft when they saw me. Their body language would relax as they felt safe. Everyone else was intimidated by them for being tough and mean, but they would be gentle and sweet with me.

They would get aggressively protective and possessive of me if they saw anyone as a threat. They would make most of the decisions and drive while I could just be happy and act cute / adorable the way I naturally prefer!

*stomps around like Godzilla*

Rawr!!!

This relationship dynamic made me feel incredibly loved and special and I’d dream of being a stay at home dad but believed it would never realistically happen.

Even understanding and knowing all of this about myself, I never even considered what my Gender was until a conversation in 2019! At 33 years old, I was telling a person about all of this and they casually asked “When did you realize you were transgender?“

My Response: 🤨…🤔…😳

“Wait… what!? Am I? Holy shit you’re right!”

It all makes Sense!

As a teenager I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t attracted to most women. I questioned if I was gay, but I had zero attraction to men.

It was very confusing for years but I ended up identifying as a form of asexual. Then just forgot about that subject for most of my life. Finding Masculine Women isn’t easy when society pressures them not to be that way.

😍😍😍

Which brings me back to what Gender is. Gender, in Truth, doesn’t actually exist. It exists as a set of rules and expectations society has for someone playing a certain role.

Typically the Gender role is associated with the Biological Sex of the same name; but that isn’t required.

The rules for Gender can and do change depending upon what culture you’re in and in what era of history you find yourself in!

Gender doesn’t have to be binary and historically in cultures with Eunuchs, they could be said to be a 3rd Gender that already exists lingustically called Neuter!

My personal suggestion is that we detach gender from the words associated with biological sex completely. This might be the most effective solution to all the confusion.

My Gender isn’t “Feminine“