Respect is the act of treating something as it deserves to be treated, and expecting of it only what it can give. This does not just apply to people. This does not apply just to other living things such as animals or plants. This applies to everything physical or abstract.
Whether it is another person, an animal we eat, an idea, a molecule or the environment and planet we all depend on to survive; everything deserves respect.
One of the biggest problems today stems from a confusion of what is considered respectful when communicating with others. As a worldwide culture, our species have evolved over the last hundred years faster than any previous century. Previously, what was respectful would have been taught and enforced by parents and the community; and it was very difficult for someone to end up in a situation they did not know how to act respectfully in.
The confusion and disagreement about what is and isn’t respectful stems from an intrinsic quality about the nature of respect. That quality or trait, is that what is considered respectful is completely relative and based in context! Showing reverence is the act of treating someone with respect above what is given to peers, and when there is a difference in expectation versus reverence given, actions can be seen as disrespectful.
For example, take the following situations: You receive an assignment from your supervisor. You respond with “I’ll try to have that ready by Monday morning” and go back to what you were doing.
Whether that is respectful or disrespectful is entirely based on the context and relationship between you and your supervisor. If you were in the military or some other rigid formal setting, it might be considered extremely disrespectful to not follow protocols such as acceptable forms of response.
However in a very informal or social setting where your supervisor is more of an equal, the opposite might be true. In such a setting, acting overly formal could be seen as disrespectful; an indication that you consider yourself above your peers and don’t wish to be part of the group as it has been established.
What is respectful is for the most part culturally defined. With that in mind, it can be very difficult to know how to act respectfully when you are unfamiliar with a culture. With today’s world where we have every culture mixing and communicating on the internet, we frequently have clashes where two cultures have disagreeing opinions about what is and isn’t respectful.
This is greatest seen in the differences between the younger and older generations. The younger generations today have been exposed their whole life to a very informal culture on the internet. Informal cultures in general see blindly following rules and dogma as a sign of weakness, and one where being treated with reverence requires someone prove they deserve it rather than simply expect it based on title, history, or appointment by authority. Barbarian cultures which allowed leadership to be challenged through combat are examples of such culture. They are cultures where everyone is an equal, and reverence is earned.
Older generations grew up in a time where information was not easily accesible and have a more formal culture. Though the technology was available to watch things as they happened live, it was only for the most important events in a geographic region. As part of their culture, and the majority of “civilized” cultures prior to theirs in human history (like Rome); it was expected that reverence was given to people based on title, history or appointment by authority until proven otherwise, and acting disrespectful (informally) out of ignorance was much harder to imagine. They are cultures with structured social hiearchies where reverence is given based on status, and status is earned.
Informal cultures however see things in reverse. Reverence will not be given unless earned first. For a person to expect and enforce it without having first earned it, is considered to be disrespectful. Formal cultures see this as being disrespectful for not showing reverence; and informal cultures see the formal cultures as being disrespectful for expecting/enforcing reverence when it has not been earned.
How do we solve this problem? Though what is and isn’t respectful is defined culturally, respect as a concept itself, is a universal one that does not change; treat others as they deserve to be treated. The first step to solving the problem is for all people to become more culturally aware. Understand, accept and tolerate the fact that not everyone shows or understands actions as respectful or dispresectful the way you do.
The second step is the most difficult for informal cultures. The level of respect of an action can be measured on a scale of its level of formality. If one behaves too formally, they may come across as acting superior to another person. If one behaves too informally, they may come across as offensive or disrespectul. This step actively involves taking context into account when deciding how to act.
If you are with friends or your own community and culture; it is easy to know how to act. When interacting with other cultures you are not familiar with though, it is always safer to act more formally than less. The price of acting too formally is to be seen as stuck up, arrogant or disrespectful in a relatively minor way; the price of acting to informally is to be seen as offensive, vulgar or extremely disrespectful.
Therefore it is easier for an understanding person to forgive someone’s ignorance in being to formal, than to informal. This is why you dress up for an interview even if the dress code for a company might be casual, and is about respecting others based on how they deserve to be treated.
The third stop is the most difficult for more formal cultures. Do not automatically assume people do not respect something due to not showing it reverence, or that people respect something because they show it reverence. What is reverent behavior for one person, may be disrepsectful or indifferent behavior for another; and reverence shown might be showing respect for a social hierarchy rather than the person being revered.
Do not base your beliefs about a person’s level of respect for something in relation to how you would act, but in relation to how the person being observed would act. This step is about respecting others, by expecting of them what they can give.
The verbal and somatic form of Namaste have a powerful meaning. It is the selfless reverent greeting and recognition to another person’s existence as a conscious living being. One worthy of being treated with all due respect they deserve by being so, as they are to you what you are to them. With that in mind, what respect boils down to this. Treat others and expect others to treat you, as you would expect them to treat you and you treat them, if you were them and they were you. That is what respect is… as difficult as it is to understand.
