Happy New Year!

Want to know why all your New Year’s resolutions always fail? Let’s investigate this curious issue.

A Rant First

Before we do however, I need to get something off my chest that I’m still pissed off about.

What was the most difficult thing for me to learn in my 20 years as a Software Architect was?

List of things if wasn’t:

X86 Assembly
Windows Kernel Driver development
In-Memory Data Structures
- Or finding them in spite of World of Warcraft’s usage of Dynamic Memory Allocation…
Whatever the fuck I did to write a Falling Warp teleport hack for World of Warcraft
- Then patching the Open Source WoW Server code to prevent anyone else from doing it after I had fun using it 😈.
Shell Code injection for… reasons…
Enterprise Software
- That I learned while creating a .NET Botnet in 2007 for the WoW Advantage Stat Hack scammers…
- If you bought that and actually expected it to be real… 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️
Esoteric programming languages like:
- Brainfuck
- Malboge
  - Appropriately named after the layer of Hell scammers get sent to 😅

No, all of those were trivial in comparison to fucking Date Math that I had to learn when I was developing scheduling software for Nurses!

First off, ignoring the mathematical atrocities involved, who the hell fucked up the naming?

Sept means 7
- September is the 9th month.
Oct means 8
- October is the 10th month.
Nov means “New”
- My birth month. Wait… 🤔… are y’all calling me a Newb again… 😤.
Dec means 10
- December is the 12th month.

🗡🗡🗡 Karma’s one Badass Bitch! 🗡🗡🗡

It’s still BCE and shit’s already going down hill with the Julian Calendar… 🙄

Anything else we need to know?

Oh what the hell… who authorized this shit? Appears to have been… *checks notes*... Pope Gregory the XIII, oh hey! My lucky number… 🤔.

Appears the missing days were correcting for Leap Days when creating the Gregorian Calendar, fair enough.

Did he make any other changes?

Seriously… 😐… you changed the Date of New Years Day… to troll people 🤨!?

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

I am Totally Okay with this Justification!!

Cause of Error Found!

Unfortunately the Angel’s programming still has “New Year’s” listed as April 1st, so they ignored all New Year Resolution fulfillment assistance requests until the New Year actually began… which is also well after most people gave up trying to keep it 😂😂😂.

Want your New Year Resolutions to Succeed?

The fix is Simple! Tell everyone what your New Year Resolutions are and start them April 1st instead! The Angels will help you keep them if you actually start them on the correct date.

Closing this Bug Report with the comment:

“Working as Intended, it’s an ID10T Error“

It is April Fool’s day after all.

Happy New Year’s, it’s now Official 2020!